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FISHING IN THE DARK
In the dark,
in a boat,
in a lagoon,
in a night of
drinking
for the fish eyes hooked
to the stars
sight.
"Billy, did you ever
look at
all of them
&
wonder about
all the distance
between us
and them?"
"Ya", I said, "once
when I was
four,
&
since then
I have only
marveled at the distance
of us
only 3 feet apart
or
the cosmos room
overflowing
with people."
I fished for
the cans
of beer
&
didn't come up
empty
&
upon reflection
the water
made the stars seem
to move.
We were only
fishing in the
dark, in
a boat,
in a lagoon,
&
we had time
to think.
"A universe just
3 feet apart; you
know, Billy,
That's a good way
to put it."
alan justiss
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ANGEL'S BLUE HOUR
From a rooming house
in Ybor City just
east of Tampa
I moved to Brandon
further east.
At that time 14 plus
years ago
there was a service
whereby a person
could be admitted into
someone's home
to care for
& be a companion, too.
I walked in off
the street &
sat down before
a placement clerk
who took my history
down on pages
then phoned.
"Hazel?"
"Yes."
"This is Almo,
from the placement board
over in Ybor City," he said.
"Anyway, I've got one
here at age 36
& he claims to be
a writer. do you
want to see him?"
"Yes," she replied. "You know
my address."
"Yes, he said. "You're across
from the cemetery;
& by the way do you know
how many dead they have
there?
"No," she replied.
"They're all dead," he laughed. "Anyway,
I'll send a live one over
at 7:00."
He handed me a slip
typed name/address
I looked at while walking back
to my room & then stuffed my wallet with it.
The rent was due
$35 dollars
& I knew
there was gas
in the car
shaving lather
& a razor
so I cleaned up.
I drove east
for the anointed hour
of seven. Pulled in
before walking to
the front door; naturally!
I knocked
& heard barking, first
as she opened the door
second.
She was a looker
back in the
20's
many years before.
The daschound eyed me
like a hammer
that would nail me
with one
wrong move.
All the moves were right
& I moved in the next day feeling
like a bottle saved
between the mattress
& floor
My own room in a 3
bedroom house, 2 bath
& a routine established
after a few weeks.
Good fortune or bad
I had a trade painting:
walls, ceilings, floors
interior & exterior whatever
called for.
Days were spent
hitting it like I lived
harder than most
ever know.
Evenings supper cooked
& scotch with water
together watching and sitting
before M.A.S.H. on her
black & white T.V..
Sometime after one
month
& one mad night drinking
she and I sucked
into each other in her
room.
She was small of frame
at the age of 78,
so I moved in slowly
as her heels pressed
tighter
against the end
of my spine.
Gently she adjusted
her colostomy bag
away from her breast
not wanting it
to burst
shit everywhere
& we continued together
like years as she grew
younger
& I older.
She had a scotch/water
waiting when I came
home nightly.
She would sing "Falling
In Love Again" while she
washed dishes
after they were filled with
fine meals.
We pressed together
nearly one year
& she would hint, laughing
marriage together
& how it would shock
all of her children who
were into Scientology
& wanted her money
so they could be clear.
Nothing works out
as it should
it only does what
we remember to forget.
Later I learned
Marlene Dietrich sang
that song
& after I left her
I recall writing a small poem
about angel's blue hour
& her sadness
& the poem was not
long enough:
even now.
alan justiss
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THE DRESS YOU ONCE WORE
Over a smoke
fire
I have cracked
the mouth
of an oyster
&
with pliers
in hand used
a screwdriver
to break it
free
&
eat.
Over a bucket
of rock-salt
&
ice
I have churned
cream
so cold that
strawberries
melted
in my mouth
from the end
of a spoon.
Over a hole
in the ground
I have with
sharp green twig
roasted a meal
taken from
flight to eat
on
many a night.
Over a table
I have spilled
the wine
&
changed our
conversation
&
then the dress
you once
wore.
Over a time
tricking
me
somehow you seemed
in actions like
I was eating it
all
as if it was really
all of my own
making while
I am eating my own
words.
alan justiss
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SNOW WHITE
Such is the city
where I live
that bans
the book
Snow White
due to the violence
between
the pages before
the apple
There is more
most likely
since
it's a white chick
living
with seven
little fuckers
with
funny names
&
not a one a
Baptist.
Anyone would
whistle
while they worked
off
a bit of that;
knowing what was
waiting
at home again
every night:
7 pleasures for
her
a delight;
regardless of
size
each fit.
Next I suppose
will be The
Black Stallion-or Dinky Donkey
since everyone knows
about Mexico
& what a woman can
take & deliver
alan justiss
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