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OUR STUPID MISSION

WHO THE HELL IS TROY LUKKARILA?

Growing up, Troy Lukkarila had a talent for breaking things: windows, cars, noses, laws, friendships—all were fair game. So, he created Lukalips Destruction Co. because he believed there was a demand for a professional breaker.

After a laborious two years of going door to door and offering free demonstrations of his remarkable breaking abilities, Troy realized the business was not going to make any money. It turns out that most people are quite capable of breaking things themselves, and they often resented Troy for destroying their prized possessions during his free demonstrations.

Troy reorganized the company, of which he was the sole employee, and turned it into a record label for his own music. After a few years, LukaLips Destruction Co. expanded by adding videos, cartoons, art, and a whole lot of other crap content. Troy's media empire continues to grow and has accumulated a net worth of nearly one hundred dollars!