TROY WINS FIRST PLACE AT MONSTER MASH
(Jacksonville Public Library 6th Annual Film Festival)
May 09, 2009
TROY LUKKARILA PLEADS FOR NEW LIVER
September 21, 2008
TROY LUKKARILA OFFERS CHALLENGE TO NATION'S KIDS
July 22, 2008
MAJOR UPSET IN FLORIDA LOTTERY
July 09, 2008
There was a major upset in this week's Florida lottery in that Troy Lukkarila didn't win.
"I picked very strong numbers so there's no reason I shouldn't have won," stated a disheartened Lukkarila.
"I believe the system is rigged and I'm officially calling for a federal investigation.
I spent a dollar on this thing and I got back absolutely nothing! Do you think that's right?"
He continued by urinating on the ticket and spitting in the face of the convenience store clerk who sold it to him.
PERCY ARRESTED FOR ATTEMPTED ARSON
June 24, 2008
Troy Lukkarila's close friend Percy was arrested yesterday in Duval County for attempted arson.
We here at Lukalips Destruction Co. are confident in our colleague's innocence and we believe that he will be
vindicated when all the facts are presented.
TROY LUKKARILA ENDORSES VERNON TWINBURGER
June 22, 2008
"It's only natural that Vernon Twinburger gets my endorsement. After all, he's already
TROY'S FILM WINS 1ST PLACE AT ZOMBIE FEST
(Jacksonville Public Library 5th Annual Film Festival)
May 17, 2008
Also, check out Roy Peak's hilarious entry. You may see some familiar faces!
MUSLIMS, CHRISTIANS AND CELINE DION FANS UNITE AGAINST COMMON ENEMY
February 12, 2006
Across the globe outrage has erupted into violent protest due to the defaming of one of pop music’s dearest stars, Celine Dion, by Troy Lukkarila on his web site.
They’re also a bit miffed about the Mohammed cartoons and the “Jesus skid mark” on his web site,
but the Celine Dion thing really takes the cake.
NEW CHILDREN'S BOOK BY TROY LUKKARILA
February 6, 2006
"I'm getting this strange vibe that my publisher doesn't like my new children's book.
Sometimes you just can't make some people happy." -- Troy
TROY'S BOOK DROPPED BY PUBLISHERS
February 4, 2006
Without warning or explanation Troy's book was dropped by his publisher even before it made it to the bookshelves.
Said an irate Troy, "This is my life's work! They have offended me greatly by banning my blasphemous book and I shall take my
revenge by setting fire to their headquarters!"
TROY REVIEWED IN THE BIG TAKEOVER
December 19, 2005
"Unsafe Structure" in issue #57 (25th
Anniversary issue) of
The Big Takeover
It's not available online so march yourself to the nearest bookstore and
pick one up.
FOLIO WEEKLY RUNS ARTICLE ABOUT TROY
December 7, 2005
Outstanding journalist Shelton Hull has a nice article
this week about Troy in Jacksonville, Florida's Folio Weekly. If
you can't get your hands on a copy, you can read it
on the WB17 website.
Update -- The article can now be found
on the INK 19 website.
TROY'S CD "UNSAFE STRUCTURE" RELEASE TO THE UNSUSPECTING PUBLIC
November 1, 2005
Everybody in the entire world celebrates.
IT'S A MIRACLE!
JESUS APPEARS IN UNDERWEAR SKIDMARK
July 10, 2005
What was described by Troy Lukkarila as "a very painful itch in a very private area" turned out to be a blessing in disguise, for shortly after scratching,
Troy discovered the divine image of our Lord imprinted in his underwear. An ecstatic Troy exclaimed,
"In the history of mankind there has never been greater indisputable physical evidence of God's glory!"
The heathens at eBay refused to list the "Jesus skidmark" under the guise that it is offensive material, therefore Troy will be holding a private auction.
According to Troy, "The Vatican has shown interest and I'm hoping to work out a deal with them to where my Holy underwear can be publicly displayed among other great works of art -- perhaps in the Sistine Chapel."
Troy is hopeful that the Lord will continue to use him as a vessel. To prepare his body for God's work, Troy is currently maintaining a Krystal burger and prune juice fast.
Lukalips Destruction Co. Celebrates Year Without News
May 26, 2005
To celebrate 365 days without significant news, Lukalips Destruction Co. threw a massive party for the purpose of lifting the morale of its bored employees. Troy Lukkarila, being the only employee , was the only person in attendance. He drank too much. He drooled on himself and muttered something about suing himself for sexual harassment.